If you only knew how many analogies came to my mind as I typed that title. It's tough living with my brain sometimes. The one closest to my heart at this time came just moments ago as I was switching laundry loads. The end of the world is near. Reputable magazines say so. Did I say reputable, I meant to say pieces of trash not even worthy of starting your next fire for dutch oven night. Anyhoo!
The end is near. It's time for us to get serious about food storage and emergency preparedness. And by serious I mean seriously chilled out. It's not rocket science to have a little extra for a rainy day. Even the Federal Government is touting it these days. I know you all want to be as cool as the Federal Government!
I was at a stake conference in my younger days. President James E. Faust was set to be one of the speakers. I don't know if it was planned, but every single speaker talked in some way about food storage and emergency preparedness. When it came time for Pres. Faust, he stood and related a dialogue between a news reporter and a general authority of the church.
Reporter: "Why don't more of your followers (meaning members of the church) obey the counsel on keeping a supply of food and emergency supplies?"
Church Authority: "I don't know. We've been saying it for many years."
Want to know what he said next? "I have nothing further to add to the many wonderful messages that have been presented here at this Stake Conference today." Want to know what he did? He sat down. It wasn't a joke either. He didn't get back up and say anything else. The meeting ended on that note.
And now for the practical application part. This is deep, prepare yourselves.
Food Storage 101:
Step 1: Feed baby cooked carrots and green beans, making sure to use a bib with a nice deep pouch.
Step 2: Remove bib and leave it on the table. Ignore until food is completely dry and has become 'one' with the food dehydration pouch (formerly known as bib).
Step 3: When ready to use, simply toss the food dehydration pouch into the wash and voila!. Dump re-hydrated food onto table. Place baby in the ready position. Fasten bib (formerly dehydration pouch), and witness the yumminess of your industrious and amazingly ingenious invention.
It's simpler than an MRE, cleaner than anything else you'll ever find, and the best part; I have no patent on this fabulous technology. Feel free to use it at will.
And there is your comic relief from food storage and emergency preparedness anxiety. Men are that they might have joy. Don't laugh too loud though, loud laughter can get you into trouble. Sorry if I sent any of you over to the dark side.
***** I shall not be held responsible for people misunderstanding my humor. Just to be clear; no thing, human or otherwise, was fed the food referred to in this unfortunate laundry accident. *****
2 comments:
I'm sure I was present at that same stake conference but alas I have no recollection of it. Thanks for giving me bragging rights with my in-laws though. The fact that I was in a stake conference where Pres. Faust spoke will definitely come up at our next get together ;)
Well, I guess it was not quite that young. I was single and living in Murray UT. You know those fabulous apartments that you lived in too. I can't remember if it was before or after you lived there. You are still welcome to all the bragging rights you want :)
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