Things You Definitely Don't Want to Hear

Zackary, Jacob, and I were enjoying a game of Monopoly last night. Sam took the girls for a Daddy daughter camp out. Yes, it's cold here, and yes, we are a bit hard core like that. More on that later. So, Zackary is freshening our air with noisy aroma (did you know you could describe gas like that?!) and I suggest he visit the bathroom. Immediately upon his return, Jacob jumps up and does a cute little bum squeeze shuffle into the bathroom. Way too soon after the door shut, I hear a booming explosion. Worried for my little guy I ask, "Jake? Are you alright?" His excited reply, "Yeah, my poop just came out like a machine gun. It started coming out all over before I was even sitting on the toilet!"

Anyone want to come clean my bathroom?

After Zackary and I stopped rolling on the floor laughing our insides out (why not at this point right?) I ask Jake, "Is it all over the place buddy?" Again with the excited reply, "No. My bum was pointed in the right direction. There's just a little on the ring that goes around the toilet."

Phew, that was a close one.

And a couple of days ago. Jacob, "Look Dad, I'm growing fur." Noticing the hair on his arms, apparently for the first time. A couple of seconds later while stroking Sam's arm, "Dad. We could just shave you and make a sweater."

Anyone need a sweater?

Oh, I almost forgot. More on that later ... FYI: using the van headlights to set up the tent and go nighttime nature hiking with your 2 and 4 year old daughters is not conducive to an engine wanting to start for you. After we all stopped laughing (above mentioned super human natural disaster) and were about to start our Monopoly game back up again, Ie get a call. "I need you. The van is dead. Oh, I forgot to tell you where we are. Let me see if I can get you here." We found them, had a fire, ate Halloween candy, and came home for a camp out on the floor. Except I got the bed :)