The Absurdity of It All

You know what we've always been able to count on with Malachi? Sleep. He goes to sleep easily, sleeps soundly, and even though he still gets up like a newborn through the night, he settles right back in and goes to sleep after his bottle. None of this applies to post surgery/procedure times, but you get the picture right? He's a great sleeper. That has been my sanity. I know that I will at least have a few hours during the day where he will be napping and I can focus attention on myself and the other children.

Now here is the absurd part, it's gone. My one and only link to sanity in this demanding and sometimes overwhelming life we live, has vanished before my very eyes, and I have no clue why. The boy simply won't sleep anymore. He might take a nap during the day if I am lucky but he spends hours "fall walking" around and miserable before it happens and it's short lived at best. My new pastime is catching him when he's so tired that his body is not physically able of fighting back and getting him into bed quick!

At night it's even worse. He walks around until he gets to the point that he can't even stand, and then he'll come snuggle with me, but the moment I even twitch he's up and at 'em again. Eventually, around 11 p.m. or so, his body simply can't stay awake any longer and I get a couple hours of sleep. Then I spend the entire night (or early morning whichever you prefer) with him either thrashing around in bed with me, deliberately trying everything he can to get me up like clobbering me with his head, or I try to sleep on the couch while he protests and wanders around in the dark. Occasionally, if I am lucky, he'll fall asleep at some point on the floor or snuggled with me on the couch. Unfortunately, I have never been a great "go back to sleeper" and to call me a light sleeper is an understatement. I am lucky to get 2-3 hours each night.

When it all started I could trick him by having one of the children put him down. That was short lived. I have tried the cry it out method. Guess what he does every single time, vomits everywhere. It's not like he is just whimpering in protest. He literally screams and gets so worked up that his body temp raises noticeably and he barfs all over the place. I even tried shortening the intervals between going in and offering noiseless comfort and giving him his binky. The thought being that he couldn't possibly get that worked up in one or two minutes and he'd have to be tired enough to give up sometime. Yes he can, and no he won't. It's a joke to try and rock him to sleep or put him in our bed, a complete joke.

The most difficult part is that Sam does really well with all of it and his job has him gone all week for the better part of the year. He's a great "go back to sleeper" and after years of sleeping on ships, he can fall asleep anywhere anytime and ignore anything he has to in order to stay asleep. It would have been nice had Malachi decided to try this new trick during daddy's off season. I am hanging on by a thread.